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As I sit here and try to put my heart into words, I think upon the last eight months that have brought me to this point.

I've watched so much change take place, endured a lot of minor difficulties, celebrated two little boys' birthdays, was reminded of the beautiful and unselfish sacrifice that Christ made, when born to die, chimed in a new year and now we are looking toward a new ending.

This pregnancy.

I am thirty two weeks and according to my doctor, I have about five weeks left.

I went into panic mode when he informed me with this news, but this little guy is in the "ready" position and giving me a lot of discomfort.

Last week I could barely get through a three mile walk.

We're talking very slow paced walking here.

Normally three miles takes about 20 minutes, where as now it's all I can do to finish in an hour.

But no walking for me anymore, the pressure is unbearable and last week slight pain was added into the mix and put me into quite a scare. I definitely don't want to over do it or put myself at risk of delivering him way too early.

He only weighs about 3 lbs, 13 ounces right now.

Here I have stressed myself to death over delivering another 9 1/2 pound baby.

Images of labor and delivery last time and the difficult time I had keep haunting my mind.

All the complications that I hope I never have to experience again, are now in question regardless of the fact that he is my third child, every birth is unknown and I am not able to predict how it will go.

I have a nice and smooth delivery pictured, but I don't want to get my hopes up for that.

So, instead I have drowned myself with questions.

My worry isn't with myself, but whether or not Asher will be okay.

Doc thinks he'll be close to seven pounds so that gives me hope of an easy delivery...we'll see.

All I know is that God is good.

He is the same God before as he is today and I just praise him for such a healthy baby boy.

For his blessing of three sons to our family.

And though there are a lot of "unknowns" in the air and questions that I ponder on, I know he is in control and my faith is in his hands.

So, can you believe it?

He'll be here before I know it and our world will change once again!

Noah has been asking a lot of questions and yesterday when I told him we were going up to Granny's for a bit to show her pictures of Asher, he mis-understood me and thought that Asher was at Granny's.

He cried with disappointment when he realized that he was still in Mommy's tummy.

I explained to him that when Asher comes out, he will be one of the first people to know and to see him.

I think he's excited to meet his baby brother and how I love that he is old enough to kind of *get* the picture of Asher becoming a part of our family.

I can't wait to see him with him and the reality of what he has talked about as far as feeding him and holding him, and rocking him.

It's a sweet and precious thing to hear my boy fall so in love with his baby brother just as he is with Ryder.

Ryder knows where baby Asher is (in Mommy's tummy) he'll point, pat, rub, kiss, and hug, imitating his older brother.

But I'm a little unsure if he fully understands or not that soon, Asher will be in his every day presence. That we are bringing him home to KEEP and love and raise...

Well if he doesn't understand, than he will soon, I just pray that it is not a shock to him.

That I am able to divide my attention to him equally, if not more, because he is the "baby."

He gets Mommy time every morning because he's smart enough to beat Noah awake in the mornings, but when Asher is here, I wonder, will there be room for Mommy time? Or will Asher be crying for food, or a diaper change?

I'm not sure how I am going to manage, function, or prioritize my time with these three, but I am counting big time on God helping me get through it.

And lots of our sweet family has offered to pitch in to help until I can get the rhythm of things.

Am I rambling?

Okay, enough!

As excited I am to meet this little man and all the thoughts that get jumbled up in my head about his arrival, I'll quit and share a few winter-fun photos of our days in the snow.

It has snowed pretty much all week long!

We are loving the sweet, crisp crunch beneath our boots.

I find myself toting around in the high depths of God's beauty just to hear this music to my ears.

The boys enjoy it more than anyone, rolling around in it, spreading their *angel* wings and flying, even occasionally licking and tasting while Mommy is busy with making her crunching noises.

Evidence is always left behind on their little lips.

What I would call a "snow stache"

And all the surrounding of white is simply angelic.

As far as our eyes could see, every hill is covered in the softest powdered snow with tips of grey branched out trees.

It's a painted canvas in our front yard and I love just going to the window to take a peek.

The boys could stay out for hours and never notice the freezing temperatures.

There cheeks could be fire red, their hands forming into tiny little icicles and their teeth chitter chattering with every sleigh ride down the hill, and it never once dawns on them that they might be below freezing!

I like to warm them up with Sherpa blankets and hot chocolate right after. And since there is no chance of us getting out and about anytime soon, I spend my days making these sweet little treats below:

Hope your winter has been full of fun!

It's going to be Magical...

I've always looked at starting a new year, as an opportunity...

This past year, I fell in love all over again with the most amazing man.

I watched two little boys become best friends.

I've been challenged with more potty training and have been amazed by a four year old's talent of memorization.

I've been blessed with so many undeserving things in my life this year.

I've been condemned with feeling that I don't do as much for the Lord as I know I should.

I have gotten closer with Jesus and it's a kind of closeness that keeps you wanting more of Him.

All the time.

I've developed such a special bond between three ladies in my church.

Have made so many friends this past year who are so sweet + genuine.

I have realized I have an amazing family that goes beyond the walls of this home.

I have learned that I can not do anything in my own timing, but in God's.

For once, I feel like I have this parenting thing under my belt with the much needed help of God's word and scripture. This is an on-going process, for I am learning something new, every day, even through defeat and failure.

There have been days where I have felt, useless, defeated and unworthy.

I'm so thankful for God's GRACE.

I've been dipping in and testing the waters of this little phrase, "Treat others the way YOU want to be treated."

I've always treated others nicely, I think, but going above and beyond can really bless some one's life in a way that might even change their life.

I've been more tired this year, than I think I ever have in my entire life.

It's worth it.

My boys always seem to be a step ahead of me, but I love their little socks off!

We've been back in our own little home now for almost a year, fixing it up here and there, and really enjoying our family life.

I have my husband home so much more, now that he works closer to home here in Kentucky and that has been the most wonderful answered pray of the year.

I get lost in love when watching my boys fall in love with their daddy...over and over.

Looking back, it has been a sweet, blissful, whirlwind of a year, and I look forward to a couple challenges and opportunities in 2010.

A challenge to be more worshipful. A challenge brought on by my pastor at HBC. I'm not a Baptist who is afraid to worship the Lord. If David can dance before the Lord with all his MIGHT in front of his hometown, why shouldn't we? Why shouldn't we lift our hands and praise his name, or cry out to him when we have burdens in our hearts?

I don't see a reason not to.

A challenge to read through the bible in one year. This should be a pretty good challenge for me especially seeing as little Asher is going to be taking up quite a bit of my early morning regimen after he arrives. I'm sure there will be a bit of temptation to skip that morning's read to love on this fresh from heaven little bundle of joy as well. I can't wait!

Make A Difference Monday : an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others each Monday...The Bible says that it's kindness that leads people to repentence, who knows how God will use the kind things we can do to bless and encourage someone else..."Little things don't mean a lot, little things mean everything!"

...

So this year has begun, and I look forward to so many new treasures that are hidden under all the little chests of life and as I strive to be a more worshipful christian, displaying his hands and feet to others, killing religion and just being called God's child, I also look forward to many more smile-worthy memories this year with my boys, with my husband, with our church, our friends. And the realization that in less than two months we will be bring home a brand new little soul to love and nurture, and welcome to our family; it is only an idea in my head for the moment. I can't truly grasp the reality of this blessing, but I know that once he is in our arms, once we are up at 3 am rocking him back to sleep, tending to his cries and needs, loving on his perfect little self, I am going to stop and think to myself...this is so real and it is so WONDERFUL!

I have to thank God for blessing us to this measure, for his grace and mercy, for his everlasting love and sacrifice.

I don't think we could ever thank him enough.

This life has turned out to be quite magical.

Just the other day over spaghetti and two messy little boys, I looked at Benji and thought, "How great is our God!"

Scenes from Christmas Morning

Just a few captured moments of Christmas time at our house.

It took a good five or ten minutes coaxing Noah awake.

For Ryder it was a quick rub on the back with a "it's time to open presents" and he was up and ready.

...of course with the looks of these two in the picture above, you'd think they were still asleep.

From my very sneaky husband...:) Very spoiled by the grandparents...

And last, a snap shot of me at 30 weeks and very anxious to get these next two months over with.

I'm not one to rush time, but I am so tired, literally. Tired of being so exhausted, tired of not feeling myself, or feeling good enough to do most of anything anymore and tired of this constant heart burn that comes from even a bottle of water.

And so very anxious to meet this little guy that kicks me all the time, or more so stretches his feet out, tucking them under my rib cage.

So so anxious!!

Every year I look forward to the magical highlights of Christmas time.

The presents, the wrapping paper, the cookie baking, the craft making, the little boys who's hearts fill up with wonder and excitement, advent, reading book after book, the church services, the gift exchanges, the snow, the lights that draw your heart to it's beauty, the warm fuzzy socks and snuggling up to your one and only, the hot chocolate, the baby Jesus.

Most of this has become so commercialized that it has taken over what our hearts should be mostly focused on.

Falling idol to the ideas we have in our head of what Christmas should look and feel like, how many presents should be under the tree and what good deals we can find in store.

Some have a hard time during Christmas, falling victim to suicidal thoughts and depression.

I pray that each and every heart be filled with the love of Christ, Jesus, who came to sacrifice himself so that we might live with him forever in eternity.

I pray that every heart is able to find the peace and joy that lies only within him.

Only with the acceptance, the believing and the confessing of his holy name, his holy presence, his holy sacrifice.

I've always thought this to be the most joyous time of the year.

So many warm, fuzzy memories of grandmother's fudge, my mom's cookies, candy canes that dwindled from the tree as the countdown began, of a house full of family and cousins who would escort us to the snow with fights and snowmen.

Of sitting at the table after your fingers are froze and your cheeks are rosy and chapped, sipping hot chocolate after scooping up the marsh mellows first.

Of the warm wooden stove that gave out a smell that I long for every year.

I'm aware that not everyone has these "warm fuzzy" memories that bring them this kind of nostalgia and peace.

And the memories that some do have doesn't give them a desire to pass anything on to anyone else, or to make memories or traditions with others.

I pray for these people today.

That they find the love of Christ, because through him all our joy is given.

Through him we are able to find love in a world full of hate.

We are able to seek peace in a world full of war.

I pray that I never put this commericalism idea in place of the true meaning of Christmas.

That I am able to weep in joy and bow my knee in thanking God for his special gift, because after all he is the giver of every good and every PERFECT gift.

And I'd say that Christ tops the gift list.

And I pray this for each of you this Christmas as well

and leave you with the last craft that my boys and I made...(well mostly just me, they ate, I glued.)

Cheerio picture frame.

We give one of these each year to all the Aunts and grandparents.

All you need:

Popsicle sticks

cheerios

ribbon and Rick rack

hot glue gun

felt

a wallet size picture of your choice.

The only part I feel like I should explain (seeing as how simple this little craft is) is that the felt is used for the back boarding of the picture. I glue the picture on a mat of felt. Then the felt to the backside of the frame.

This is so it doesn't make the picture bubble, and it's kept pretty sturdy.

Hoping your Christmas is full of Christ's love and joy!!

Peace and Love

from the Pennington Family :)

Christmas Snippets

I have to say, than when we're all snuggled up in the living room, these little guys draw my eye the most, when gazing at our tree.

And the fact that they take literally just a few minutes to stitch up, has me even more in love with them...

This is the first year that I've actually had the time to get lost in cute little Christmas craftings. Usually I'm scurrying over ribbon and wrapping paper, but this year I have felt like I have had a few less stresses and so much more peace.

A gift from God, I am sure.
That's not to say that I don't have a lot on my mind, because to even say that I did, would be an understatement, but nothing stressful.
More like, excited.

For instance...We're 29 weeks today!

11 weeks to go.

I'm sure I'll start feeling those "flutterbys" when we're in the single digits.

I'll be counting each week down diligently and hoping to get his nursery finished before his arrival.

His furniture has been ordered...Ebony black and the fact that his crib is a mini is going to make such a huge difference in that tiny little room of his.

The fabric for his crib bumper and skirt has been ordered, and my Mother in-law and I plan to get strait to work on it, after the New year.

It's sweet, black and white damask on the outside, with a powdered/baby blue minky dot on the inside.

The walls have been painted eggshell white and 3 16x20 black and white phomeboards have been ordered, complete with black frames and baby blue matting.

See...I told you I had a lot on my mind, but this stuff is all so fun and exciting and I promise you pictures of the finished product, until then I will just tease you with descriptive words :)

Hoping that each of you and yours are having a wonderful Christmas season so far!

Chritmas Time in Pictures (and a few words in between)

This past weekend we took a little drive down south to Gatlinburg, Tennessee to treat the boys to a weekend of sightseeing and mountain climbing.

The lights were a big hit with those two, the whole town was lit up and sparkled from every angle.

I wouldn't mind if we did this every year, a little before Christmas.

We were able to find some fun last minute Christmas gifts that probably has never stepped foot in Kentucky and reminisce over the memories that Benji and I shared 5 1/2 years ago on our honeymoon.

I remember thinking also, how it would be fun to go to Ripley's Aquarium, but a little inappropriate since we didn't have any kids at the time.

Now that we have our boys, we got to take full advantage and it just so happens, that they are both very interested in sea creatures, mostly inspired by the movie, Finding Nemo.

{on top of the Great Smokey Mountains}


{the view was gorgeous and icicles hung like ornaments on every cliff. Funny thing though, a mile or two before making it to the top, I complained how it seemed to be taking forever. How I wish someone would just come up behind us and push us along, the rest of the way. As soon as we reached our destination and pulled in the parking lot to get out, someone back right into us tearing off our back bumper and denting the side of our truck from Benji trying to swerve, so they'd miss. I felt a little bad after that :P}

The first place we ate at, was Pitt's BBQ, which left a tasty memory with us since the first time we ate there. We were excited to go back and take the boys and relive it all again.

It's crazy to think that five and a half years ago it was just the two of us sitting in the wooden booth, hand in hand, high on love and so many dreams.

I feel so blessed to be able to see so many of our dreams unfold over the years.

A house full of kids, being able to stay at home with them, a decent job for Benji, having him home so much more often, and just seeing our lives play out in the way that God had always intended.

When it's his will, it always seems to be so much better than what you could have ever come with in your own mind.

Also, I finally got a few descent shots of the boys in their Christmas pj's, as you can see from the pictures above. We have this tradition that has been going on since I was a little girl and that is, on Christmas Eve, opening up our Christmas PJs and wearing them to bed for Christmas morning. We even let the boys where them on the trip to Mamaw and Papaw's for Christmas breakfast.

I have to say that I can't pick a favorite, I love them all, but the one with their silly faces is definitely closest to their true personality.

So, as you can see I've been busy with picture taking, and later I have some crafts I want to share. Little fabric Christmas trees and cheerio picture frames, also which I will be slipping to my secret friend for the 12 days.

Hoping she likes the handmade stuff!

On the first day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me...

As I cuddle up on my couch with my slippers hugging my feet and hot cocoa warming my hand, as I watch my boys' little faces light up when it's dark enough outside to see the Christmas tree's glorious glow, that reflects right back into their precious sea blue eyes, as I lull myself into a sweet trance with the sound of Christmas music and the smell of sugar cookies baking in the oven, as I get lost with inspiration flipping through magazines and trying out my own little crafts this year which has turned our Holiday into a "handmade holiday...." As I linger through stores and hunt for little treasures to bless some one's heart...as I do these things, I can't help but to stop and wonder in between them all, "Where am I including Jesus in this?" This time of year is so extra special and so many families fill their Holiday season with traditions, as I want to do the same for my boys, but I often have to stop in my tracks and ask myself this very question, after all isn't he the reason for the season? I can see him all around us, in my boys' eyes, in the Christmas carols that play, in the gorgeous lights that light our house up reminding us of only a fraction of the glory He deserves, yet so often we get lost in the hustle and bustle that we forget the true meaning.
I often think about Mary. How she must have felt that night that Christ was born. How Joseph must have been pacing back and forth in excitement and nervousness. How the black sky lit up with stars and the whole world stood in the cold, hearts dropped, Christians praying and rejoicing after seeing the Northern star shine in a way that only God could have invented. I think about Mary's anticipation and how blessed she must have felt to carry the Lord, yet relying whole heatedly on the Lord in taking on such responsibility. And after seeing that precious little, fresh from Heaven face and hearing his cry to save the world, the joy she must have felt that filled her heart so suddenly, when realizing that a savior has been born.
Did she know what she would be going through years later? What she would be sacrificing, yet gaining? Did she know the hurt, yet joy? Did she know the heartache, yet warmth in knowing?

I ponder these things and think of how unworthy I am of his grace, how I so many times take for granted this time of year buried in the little things, like Christmas crafting, or cookie baking. I want and long to get lost in his word. To rejoice with every molecule of my body that HE LIVES. I want to bless others the way he has so richly blessed my life, I want to pass on traditions to my boys that imitate his hands and feet. I want to reach the world through gifts that scream his name. I want Christmas morning to be more about Christ being born, than about gifts and feasts.

This all drives me to the desire of 12 days of giving even more and this year I have chosen a lady from our church that has a hard time during Christmas because of the loss of a loved one.
Our True Love, Our LORD, gave to us a partridge in a pear tree: Christ Jesus. Christ is symbolically presented as a Mother partridge that feigns injury to decoy predators from her helpless nestlings, recalling the expression of Christ's sadness over the fate of Jerusalem: "Jerusalem! Jerusalem! How often would I have sheltered you under my wings, as a hen does her chicks, but you would not have it so..." (Luke 13:34)

I hope these little day to day gifts remind her of a Lord who paid a great deal for her and loves her beyond measure. I hope to bless her in the way that she has blessed me, by being such a sweet, living example in my church. I hope to assure her that she is thought about and prayed for and loved.
And as I take on these little day to day gift givings in secret, I hope to be that shining example to my boys, demonstrating what Christmas is really about. We have so much to be thankful for and pockets full of opportunities to seek Him out in everything we do.

Twelve days until Christmas!!!